WhoAmI? A visual essay.

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WhoAmI?  A visual essay.

Who am ‘I”? I am peace and war, I am everything yet nothing. I am joy and sadness. Inside I am. I am calm, very calm almost to the point that it scares me, but not as much as the ‘outside’. How terrifying, clumsy and blind I feel when I have to come out of myself into this ‘world’. I stumble and fall and pick myself up again and again, I struggle to exist externally. Sometimes I am lucky, I can communicate to people who can see the ‘real me’ inside. Sometimes I am not. For me, there is only one way forward: a continue struggle daily clearing the confusion that exists in existing in this strange yet magical ‘reality’ both spiritually and physically. I am for the present confused but I do know who I am and that gives me some peace of mind…colin

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Wordsmatter

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Thoughts that haunt me. A selection of words.

The Day begins.

Getup. Backache, heartache, headache. A journey with 2 wheels and feeling 2 heavy. A Shimmering light flickers by. Cosy thoughts circulate around me.

Assertions and doubts fight for a stage to perform for me. Whatifs, whatnots, dart in front of me.

Projections and dreams make new junctions. Crossings and avenues appears out of the blue. The Bloods rushing, thoughts spiraling, cascading through me. The Day begins.

 

A winter sunlight drifts through me and reminds me me of days past.

 

Gravity defines me. The trees are the poetry that surrounds me. You are the fire that ignites me.

 

A chorus of trees sing to me. The same song I heard once as a boy. Was this a memory of the future or my past?

 

2 meandering rivers, each with there own energy and grace, meet and make there complimentary forging new heights.

 

A scar with solitude, echoes a loss, endlessly looping a fresh wound.

 

Never knowing an Age, Time moves incessantly. At first, invincible, then comes a doubt and then a loss builds. After, a sunset appears which eventually becomes a fire and consumes me.